Until today, I’ve only caught bits and pieces of the economic strife of the Twinkie. Mostly headlines…things like “Hostess CEO Blames Union Strike” (you mean when people don’t come to work, things don’t get done?) “Price of Twinkies Skyrockets as Hostess Plans to Shut Down” (“skyrockets??” Like from a quarter to 50 cents?) or my personal favorite so far, “Will Twinkies Be a Sweet Deal for Mexican Billionaire?” It’s my favorite because apparently Grupo Bimbo has put a bid in for the second most disgusting food on the planet (the first unarguably being Balut, from the Philippines (I encourage you to Google the article entitled “The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World” and try to hold your breakfast down).
At any rate, it’s my favorite turn of events in the Hostess story of demise, simply because I am curious if those futbol teams who currently harbor the marketing nightmare of wearing the word “Bimbo” across their chests will rise to the even greater challenge of the word “Twinkies” plastered everywhere.
Apparently I can’t breathe even a facetious sigh of relief that those little spongecakes will be gone from supermarket shelves once their 30 year shelf life has expired, because so far this year, the Twinkie alone has brought in over 68 million bucks. Huh??? And yet while initially hard to believe, I would be interested to know if the highest obesity rates in the country are directly correlated with the highest sales volume. And then it might all start making sense.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve eaten my fair share of Twinkies in my lifetime. In college I think they were an actual food group in my own personal pyramid. However, my dessert tastes have matured over the years, as I’d like to think other tastes of mine have as well…but I think that’s a different post.
Hostess will head into the courtroom tomorrow morning to work out some details before the Twinkie moves on to become the property of the highest bidder. And while I am rooting for Bimbo to take home the prize, there are two other contenders who could really change the face of the Twinkie and, in doing so, really shift an American icon into a different mindframe.
One of those companies is Flowers Foods, Inc., which is based in Georgia and holds the title to “Nature’s Own” breads (and actually uses 100% whole grain rather than just sliding the words “whole grain” into the trademark to sound more nutritious than they really are). Can you IMAGINE that? Twinkie meets whole grain goodness. Hate to break it to them, but I think the number of zeros behind that 68 in profits this year would significantly drop.
The other buyer hot on the trail of the Twinkie is none other than Metropoulis & Co…same guys who own Pabst beer. Now there’s a new twist on the Twinkie for you! I wonder if they would find a way to actually add the beer to the batter (kind of like a Friday night fish fry, you know…) or if they would do a marketing thing…”Buy two 40 ouncers and get a two-pack of Twinkies for free…”
I’d say the possibilities are endless, but I’m hoping for the Mexican company. I think those boys from the Philadelphia Union are ready for a logo switch…pretty sure it’s not the direction they were hoping to go.
Eat These Instead of Twinkies:
Black Bottom Cupcakes
1 (8 oz) package of cream cheese
1/3 cup white sugar
1 cup chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 TBL white vinegar
1 tsp vanilla
350 degree oven…line muffin tin with papers.
Beat together the cream cheese, egg and sugar until it’s fluffy, then fold in the chocolate chips.
In a different bowl, mix together all the other stuff, then fill the muffin cups 1/3 of the way with the cocoa mixture, and add a scoop of the cream cheese mixture on the top.
Bake for about one half hour…this recipe will make about 16 cupcakes.