During my holiday travels, I was lucky enough to find not one, but TWO restaurants that fit the description of “Oldest in Each State” for my latest quest. The first was in the historic town of Council Grove, Kansas, and it was called the Hays House.
The Hays House was filled with a history dating back to the days of the Santa Fe Trail, a beautiful bar purchased from a restaurant up in Manhattan (Kansas, that is…not NYC), friendly and timely service from a sixteen-year-old server named Willow, and a delicious steak dinner with meat from a local farm.
The menu had quite a fun selection of cocktails, and just below the listing we found a saying I’d never heard before…it said: “Don’t let the devil beat you around the stump!”
It took a while for that to fully ruminate. I finally had to look it up and found a site that aptly begs the question: “Do you speak cowboy?” Sadly, no. I don’t. And I didn’t hear this phrase out of Rip or Kayce on Yellowstone at any point, either…which then exhausts my expertise.
Turns out that if the devil beats you around the stump, that means you’re just being lazy about things. So when you are tasked with not letting him beat you around the stump, the old saying is telling you to get it together and make a decision. Got it – Morris County Mule, please! Which turned out to be yet another fantastic iteration of a copper mug filled with Tito’s and a local flair.
Cute town, fun restaurant, all-around fabulous evening!
The second restaurant is where this story takes its turn, as all good stories do. I found myself perched on a barstool in another old town, chatting with some locals and wondering what on earth to write about this place. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the company and the evening was quite fun.
But some things are just not what you hope they will be.
This leads me (as always) down a path of reflection, and I realized that the juxtaposition of my two experiences is what keeps things real.
Because things are not always great, and that’s okay. You make the best of it and move on. You acknowledge it, then learn from it and do the best with what you’re given.
When reflecting on 2024 with some friends recently, I noticed a shift in thinking, and I very truly think it is a healthy one. In years prior, many people seemed to only recount their positive experiences, so much so that their lives were painted “picture perfect” in an effort to “focus on the positive” as we are so often encouraged to do.
This year’s difference included a much more realistic frame of reference. For myself, that means that I was able to take my dream trip to England, spend a week at a baking school that I will never forget, make new friends across the pond, spend nights in a castle, immerse myself in a show on London’s West End, and join the never-ending cheers at a match at Stamford Bridge.
This year also marked the first full year I spent with my parents both gone. My faithful, spunky little chocolate lab has a tumor that needs to be removed before too much more time passes. I didn’t meet some of my personal goals. I lost a friendship.
It is unrealistic to think that every night will be spent in a castle (look what happened to Anne Boleyn, for goodness sake), that every bake will be a showstopper, that every restaurant will be noteworthy, or that every day will be magical and exciting.
I tend to focus on the positive, which I will always believe to be the best way to travel through this beautiful life.
But as I scanned the underwhelming menu of fried foods in a less than historic looking dining room of a no-need-to-mention-the-town restaurant, my reflections brought me around to recognizing the importance of the not-so-great as well. We need the antithesis in order to fully appreciate the traits. Vacation and work. Quiet and loud. Light and dark. Magic and science.
To the point, if there were no such thing as negative, how on earth would we ever be so fortunate to recognize and appreciate the positive?
Hillary Danaher 
Bravo, Hillary! You’ve captured the very essence of my outlook on life. I am thankful, grateful and tend to focus on the positives in my life, but acknowledge that not every day has to be (in my case) “Facebook post worthy.” I tend to highlight the positive with my posts and leave the negative experiences and worries for personal reflection and sometimes personal conversations with others to, hopefully, gain perspective. Life is full of both and that is the human experience. Thank you for enriching others’ lives and growing in wisdom. Happy New Year to you!